October 14, 2016

Yesterday Ashtyn spent much of the day sleeping. It wasn't until after 3 pm that she woke up for the day. She had chest pain because her lower lungs were slightly collapsing from being in bed for a straight 16+ hours. After walking in the halls with her brothers and some friends, she felt good to socialize with visitors the rest of the night. We know there will be times of fear and devastation. Peace and calm. Crying and sorrow. And fun and laughter. Yesterday she felt all of it. She wants to be home. She does not want to do this again. At the same time, she feels peace and loved. Before she went to bed her Uncle Jared texted "Is there anything that will help take your mind away from the hospital room? Movies? Music? Video games? Sitting in the sun? Let's think of something." Ashtyn texted back, "Something tells me that pretty soon I won't be in the mood for any of that." She was right. Today she doesn't feel up to doing anything. She is officially feeling the effects of cancer and chemo. Another very important lab value we look at is the "Absolute neutrophil count" or ANC. Neutrophils are a type of WBC that fights against infection. A normal number is 1,500 to 8,000. Even though her overall WBC count was way high when she came to the hospital, her ANC was only 1,000 because cancer had made the rest of her WBC immature. Today her labs showed an ANC of zero. That's what chemo does. She now has no ability to fight infections so is required to stay in her room with only healthy visitors. Chemo has also knocked out her platelets and RBC's so she gets transfusions daily. She is sick and hasn't got it in her to do anything but sleep. Prayer for the day: Please pray that her body will not instantly destroy the platelets that she is given. We want the new platelets to circulate in her blood stream for as long as possible before dropping again. Also, please pray that she will remain infection and illness free. She so easy can get sick and I want her to fight cancer without having to fight anything else.

October 14, 2016

A common question I've been asked is, "How did you know Ashtyn had cancer?" On Sunday October 9th, as we sat in our Sacrament Meeting at church, I put my arm around her and whispered, "Your color still looks pale and greenish." She is always a porcelain pale beauty, however for the past week I had noticed she was more grey. We contemplated whether or not I should take her to the nearby Instacare. We had no strong inclinations either way. Ashtyn decided she wanted to wait it out and go to her grandparents that night for a family party. I told her to walk home, get some water and a bite to eat, and then walk back to church. 45 minutes later I got a text, "Mom, I feel so lightheaded to the point where I'm scared to walk to church." I immediately called her. She didn't answer the phone! I panicked and thought the worse "She's passed out." As I ran home, four houses down, I kept thinking "Don't freak. Call 911 if you need to. Don't freak!" But I was freaking. I ran inside the house with my heart racing, hands shaking to find her hanging out on the couch with a friend. I was scared furious and said sternly, "Get in the car! We're going to the Instacare." There they did blood work. The WBC's were 85,000 when normally they should be 3,500. We were sent to PCMC. It was immediately clear to everyone else that she had relapsed. We still had hope. Ashtyn was admitted to the PICU. Her blood was thick and was at risk for a stroke. Three hours after being in the PICU, two oncologists came down and confirmed the diagnoses. Everyone was shocked. After being in remission for 3 1/2 years, it's so unusual to relapse. How did this happen? We will never know. Her bone marrow (which produces blood cells) was destroyed with her last bone marrow transplant. Her new bone marrow is 100% her brothers who was her BMT perfect donor. Her new cancer cells look exactly like her very unique old cancer cells, so they must have come from her. Did one little cancer cell survive last time, and finally after three years start dividing? Who knows. All we knew was, she had cancer again and we never saw it coming. (PCMC waiting room)