Take Therefore No Thought For The Morrow

I don't know what to say about my life. It's crazy! It's been crazy for awhile now. I'm totally learning how to let go of fear and live with trust. Ashtyn is on Day 9 of her 28 day chemotherapy round. At this point she has to go to Seattle Children's Hospital every Friday for a doctors check up and chemotherapy. Other than that, she can stay at the Ronald McDonald House as long as she remains healthy and well. Two months ago she did the same chemotherapy regimen. By Day 11 she was in the hospital with severe nerve pain. By Day 14 she was in the intensive care unit with possible blood culture negative sepsis and continued having complications until Day 34 when she finally was able to leave the hospital. A few days ago she started feeling nerve pain. She was started on a medication called Gabapentin a few weeks ago to be on top of nerve pain in case it came back. We are hoping, because of that, neuropathy doesn't escalate. Another thing that's uncomfortable for her is the 20 pound weight gain steroids caused. Though the weight will eventually come off, it's miserable for her. Other than that, things are going well so far. She got chemotherapy yesterday, stopped steroids for one week, and has nothing on her hospital plate until another dose of chemotherapy this Friday. Naturally she asked if she could go home. I have to vouch for the healthcare team. Her oncologists in Seattle would prefer if she lived in a bubble. I feel the same, but of course that's not realistic. Ashtyn has to live life. We want her to have the best possible quality of life while going through this cancer fight. She also should be able to make her own decisions whenever possible. Putting aside nervous feelings about a bunch of "what-ifs", the decision was made to allow her to fly back to Salt Lake City for five days. Ashtyn knows how unpredictable cancer life is. She lives in the moment and jumps at any opportunity to go home because who knows when the next chance will be. Please pray that 1. she will stay infection and illness free while home. 2. nerve pain will stay under control. 3. her doctor and I will smile with relief when she returns to Seattle healthy for her Friday chemotherapy.