On Tuesday I took Ashtyn to the cancer clinic for her monthly check up. We were both so confident in her health. She has been feeling strong, energetic, and better than ever. We were shocked to find her complete blood count lab came back abnormal. Her red blood cells, white blood cells, and platelets were all quite low. Of course our first thought was that she relapsed. My body's stress response kicked in where I shook and felt freezing cold. Ashtyn cried and fear overtook her. We then started thinking that it must be a virus affecting her marrow and its ability to produce blood cells. The decision was made to check her for Leukemia as well as a slew of viruses.
Today she went to the hospital for a bone marrow aspirate, biopsy, and lumbar puncture to check for leukemia. She also got a bunch of blood work done to test for viruses. Ashtyn was cautious and nervous all day thinking she had a 50/50 chance of having cancer again. I was uneasy but hopeful it was a virus and she would bounce back in no time. We got home at 3:30 p.m. and by 5:10 p.m. I got a phone call with "Oncology" on my caller ID. I walked away to be alone as I answered the phone. One of Ashtyn's bone marrow transplant doctors let me know that she had relapsed. I felt surprisingly calm as I asked a few questions and then hung up the phone. I walked into the living-room, sat down next to Ashtyn, and looked at her. Her eyes widened and she cried, "No!!!" Yes, it's true. Cancer is back. She sobbed, screamed, freaked, and was devastated. It's been a few hours now after finding out the news. Ashtyn is terrified and calm and hopeful and scared and every other emotion. If you were to ask her how's she doing the answer would be, "It's a mix of emotions. Ask me in a few days because right now I feel different every 5 seconds."
The facts are: We have no idea what to expect in the coming weeks and months. Tomorrow we are leaving to Vegas for Morgan's cheer competition. The doctors need a week to figure out what to do anyways. We get home on Tuesday and will take Chandler to the Missionary Training Center Wednesday where he will be serving a two year mission to Orlando Florida. Thursday we will meet with oncology doctors to discuss options and plans. For now we will just go day by day trusting God's wisdom, perspective, and love with complete faith in the miracles the Lord wants for her.
