BMT Day 36: I woke up today not getting my own way again with the news that white blood cells are still not seen in her blood counts. I decided I was going to have a good day regardless. The day seemed to be pleasantly uneventful with our really cool nurse Bri and awesome nurse-aid Megan. Ash had the appearance of not being in a very good mood but didn’t complain much that she wasn’t allowed to drink all day while waiting for the bone marrow aspirate and biopsy that didn’t ended up happening until 6:30 p.m.. By 8:00 p.m. the procedure was done, we were back in our room, and she still looked gloomy. I had to pipe up. “Ash, you can’t be in a bad mood all the time.” She responded, “I’m not.” I pointed out, “You haven’t been yourself in awhile. I get that you don’t feel well. I understand this sucks. It’s hard and all you want to do is go home. It’s healthy to feel those emotions for a time but then turn your focus on the good. Notice the tender mercies and miracles that happen everyday. Look! You don’t need oxygen! Awesome! Notice, you aren’t nauseated and pain isn’t too bad! Wonderful! Appreciate that you can drink anything you want right now. Finally! You have the strength to get out of bed every couple hours to use the bedside commode. Remarkable!! Your central line infection looks so much better where it doesn’t have to be pulled! There are miracles and tender mercies every single day. Expect them, keep your eyes open to recognize them, and then be grateful.” I ended my “mother moment” and she ordered a chocolate shake, lemonade, and hot chocolate from room service. Her vibe totally changed and we watched “Peter Pan” while she enjoyed her drinks. Btw: I am AMAZED she hasn’t thrown up the chocolate shake yet and it’s been 3 hours since she drank it! Today was a good day.
Each day I tend to ask for specific prayers. I think it’s important to be specific when praying and expect miracles. It’s also important to recognize the different blessings, tender mercies, and miracles that come when the specific prayer I want doesn’t end up happening. When I don’t get my own way from the prayer I really really beg for, I want to be grateful and trust the blessings that come instead. All your prayers have brought many miracles. Thank you. Please continue praying for engraftment and the end of adenovirus.
