One Step Enough For Me

Friday I begged Heaven, with as much faith as I thought needed, for the most recent bone marrow aspirate and biopsy to not only show zero leukemia but also have 25% cellularity. I knew the chances that her marrow would be 25% cells was at that point medically impossible but I was hopeful that the situation would be a great opportunity for us all to witness a grand miracle and “see and know of the goodness and glory of God.” Friday evening I heard back from the BMT doctor informing us that Ashtyn’s marrow remains cancer free, a tender mercy and greatest blessing. Results also showed that her marrow was 15% cells putting the transplant on hold until 25% can be achieved. We are very grateful and relieved that she remains cancer free. At the same time I was initially frustrated with the cell result. I questioned why my prayers and desires were being ignored. I didn’t understand why moving on to a bone marrow transplant has to be so uncertain. In the midst of my disappointment, I felt an obvious and noticeable calm feeling regarding the results. I have been so on edge lately that I knew the peace was not coming from me. I was reminded, “Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark and I am far from home. Lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet, I do not ask to see the distant scene. One step enough for me.” The logistics of the 25% cellularity is because Ashtyn will be receiving a study conditioning chemotherapy drug called Treosulfan for her bone marrow transplant. Because Treosulfan is not currently FDA approved in the US and instead is part of a clinical trial, it is required that her marrow has 25% cells when other BMT’s don’t have that requirement. Ashtyn’s in a tricky situation right now. The marrow has to recover showing 25% cells and 0.00% leukemia to qualify for a transplant. Friday she stopped taking Venetoclax to help cell production, which also means she’s no longer taking anything that will keep leukemia at bay. At the same time cell’s increase, she needs to remain cancer free. Please continue praying for 0.00% leukemia growth and 25% healthy cells in her marrow. We don’t feel alone and are being comforted. Thank you.