I'm so exhausted and fried but I want to updated a little of what went on Saturday (22nd) and Sunday (23rd). I wish there was a camera in the room so you could see everything that goes on. There is so much I'd like to share. I'd love to share all the ways Ashtyn shows her determination and strength. Some of the things she has said: "I feel awful. I'm going to get better fast and then get out of here." "Thank you" every time someone does something for her. "I'm sorry" when she feels she wants to be more herself. "One breath at a time" when she's coaching herself to calm her anxieties. "I'm so tired. I can't function like this. I need morphine so I can sleep." She can't have narcotics right now so she came up with another idea. "Can I have ben/ phen?" A medication she knows helps her sleep. The answer was yes. Ashtyn's not always coherent but is becoming more and more so. Her short term memory struggles which is completely understandable. Saturday (22nd) night was the first night she asked me, "Mom, what happened to me?" I asked what her last memory was. She remembered Sunday night the 16th, the night before she went into shock and was taken to the PICU. I explain how the following morning she went to the PICU very sick, needed a breathing tube, and had worked so hard for days to get better. On Sunday 23rd she had no recollection of that conversation and asked again what had happened to her. I reminded her again. My mind is jumbled so I will simply jot somethings down that have occurred this past Saturday and Sunday: Her kidneys started to show great signs of improvement. Her central line was taken out and replaced with a picc line. Her art line was taken out. She's still on oxygen but because of restlessness is moving around more which is good for her lungs. It's been both joyful and difficult watching Ashtyn transition back to life. We are so happy watching her improve and become more herself. On the other hand, it's difficult to watch the hardships necessary as she heals and recovers. It's been exactly one week since Ashtyn almost died. I know this was a week of miracles. I don't say that lightly. Ashtyn knows hundreds of people have prayed and fasted for her. We know that Primary Children's Hospital is a phenomenal hospital with the most capable staff. We needed both their expertise and the grace of God to get Ashtyn to where she is today. She is a miracle because of you. I hope each of you feel that your prayers matter and are affecting Ashtyn's life for good.
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