Blindsided

This is a picture of my 12 year old Ashtyn taken at the beginning of February 2013, one week after finding out she had cancer for the first time. She wasn't feeling good that day and soon became very sick. I wrote exactly five years ago today, "Ashtyn's physical body is having a rough time with the effects of chemo. Her temperature is 105. Her mouth down to her stomach is raw with mucositis, making it painful. At times she has to throw up the blood that has accumulated in her stomach. She is on oxygen at all times, unsteady on her feet, in and out of sleep, not talking much, and her hair is beginning to fall out. She is emotionally and spiritually doing well and I know she is only being given what she can tolerate and handle."

That was her first experience with chemotherapy and for those who don't know her story, she got cancer free and was given her first bone marrow transplant in June 2013. She went 3 1/2 years cancer free before finding out on October 9th 2016 that it was back. Again she beat the odds, got cancer free, and received her second BMT in March 2017. We are as blindsided with this third diagnosis as we were the first and second time. Our hearts ache constantly and emotions are continually high. We feel stress, stunned, calm, disappointed, optimistic, shocked, happy, bummed. It's difficult to sleep. It's difficult to eat. Even though our hearts ache, body shakes with stress, and cancer never leaves our mind; we talk, joke, laugh, and smile. It's strange to feel all the emotions at the same time but it's a roller coaster we'll have to stay on for awhile.

We are in Las Vegas and will try to enjoy our weekend. Please pray that her blood counts will stabilize and she will remain healthy while here. Two days ago her labs showed low white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. We pray they will stabilize for the next 6 days while we spend time together in Vegas and send Chandler off to the Missionary Training Center on Wednesday. I am sure Ashtyn is heading for blood transfusions and isolation but we ain't got time for that yet.
photo credit: Fauset Photography