I'm Not Unbreakable

Yesterday we hugged Chandler goodbye as he begins his two year mission. My sister in-law Nanette sent me a text. I particularly appreciated her telling me, "I am sure the way you feel on the inside isn't always reflected on the outside." My sister Alisa texted me a quote and then explained, "I know you will continue to cope lightly and deeply, not letting the quicksand suck you down into fear, self-pity, and despair. If the quicksand does get you, I know you will not linger there. You will fight your way out and I am here to help you with that fight." It's true. I'm not unbreakable and am as human as the next person. At times I feel fear, self-pity, and despair but the key has been to not linger and instead redirect focus on the positives. No doubt there is positives in every situation but sometimes you just have to look at things from a different angle. I try every day to be strong, positive, and confident because I want my kids to be strong, positive, and confident. I know if I have faith, optimism, and courage my kids will have faith, optimism, and courage which in turn gives me faith, optimism, and courage which gives them the same and on it goes. Today we are meeting with doctors to discuss cancer treatment options. Ashtyn has been especially anxious waiting a week to find out what the plan will be for her. At this point we truly do trust God completely and are relying on His tender mercies as well as the support of all of you.