Nothing Is Set In Stone

Several days ago a CT scan of Ashtyn’s lungs showed two small nodules. Extra caution is being taken because of the hope she’ll receive a transplant this month so an anti fungal drug called Ambisome was started. It is a two hour IV infusion done in the hospital so our three days home were spent with family as well as a daily four hour visit to Primary Children’s Hospital. Monday we were able to see Dr Luke Maese along with other staff we love. We appreciate them so much and are grateful for their continual support and care. At 4:00 p.m. I received a phone call from the BMT coordinator in Seattle informing me that her scheduled appointment on the 5th was moved to the 10th. We had been planning on flying to Seattle on Tuesday morning for Ashtyn’s bone marrow aspirate. Wednesday she and I were going to spend 4th of July kicking our feet up at the Ronald McDonald House. Thursday and Friday were going to be spent at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance to start the BMT process while hopefully receiving cancer free results by Thursday. With the change of not having any appointments for six days, the only logical thing to do was to fly back to Salt Lake City after her Tuesday aspirate in Seattle. There was a lot of communication between the doctors and nurse coordinators in Seattle and Salt Lake City. The new plan: We are flying to Seattle today at 8:30 a.m., will drive directly to the hospital for Ashtyn to get a platelet transfusion, her bone marrow aspirate, and the Ambisome medication infusion. We will then drive back to the airport and catch the 8:45 p.m. flight home. If results come back Thursday showing 0.00% leukemia cells, we’ll fly back to Seattle on the 9th and stay there for four months. My way of life has changed completely from when my kids were young. I used to be a Day-Planner girl who would look three months ahead, have a packed schedule, and was pretty confident things would go as planned. Now I look ahead one week, guess what may happen, and then take life two hours at a time never being surprised with the surprises. Nothing is certain in life except the actual moment I’m living. It’s very freeing to let go of all control and simply move wherever the current takes me.