An Outside Perspective

Hi. It's Janet. I've been friends with Suzanne and Jason for the past 14 years. I've known Ashtyn since she was 3 years old. I've read every cancer update, visited Ash in the hospital at Primary Children's Hospital during her first rounds of cancer. Today I flew to Seattle with two of my kids, Ben (17) and Roma (6). We drove to Seattle Children's Hospital around 9pm, as soon as we landed. Security let us up to the cancer floor even though it was after visiting hours. Roma crawled in bed with Ashtyn and Ben sat back and didn't say much. We didn't taken any photos because what we saw was pretty unbelievable. It's been two hours since we left their room and I'm still trying to come up with words, some way to explain what was going on with Ashtyn. Suzanne is always so eloquent and I won't be able to do it justice. Ashtyn was in SO much pain she couldn't sit still. She was tossing and turning, sitting up, laying back down, trying to walk around, getting back in bed. The best way I can compare it to is a woman in labor, trying to find the right position for comfort, without success. Pain meds were given, but Ashtyn wasn't getting any relief. Suzanne was calm, the lights were turned off and the feeling in the room was peaceful, but tears were flowing from sweet Ashtyn. Nurses came in to take her vitals and go over a new pain management plan. When Ashtyn's blood pressure came in a little high, she apologized. YOU GUYS. This 17 year old girl is unreal, she was concerned about everyone else and apologized for high blood pressure! She has been through so much and continues to fight and give it her all. As we left the hospital and drove the unfamiliar streets of Seattle, I just can't believe that they've been living here for 5 months, away from family and friends and everything familiar. It's overwhelming to me and I was only in that hospital room for about an hour. As we are going to sleep tonight, I asked Ben what he was thinking in the hospital room, and he said, "I just can't imagine being in Ashtyn's place." Seattle Children's Hospital is beautiful and I know they are in the best care, but please send your prayers and love and support. I'll update again tomorrow.