The reason I rarely leave Ashtyn’s side is because I want to understand as personally as I can what she goes through each and every day. I want to feel what she feels, see what she sees, talk with those she talks to, eat what she eats, and sleep where she sleeps. I want her to know that I know what the journey has been like. I want her to know that if she can’t come and go, then neither can I. I want her to know that we are in this together entirely. Yesterday was Ethan’s 12th birthday and Monday is Morgan’s 16th birthday. I felt it was important for me to spend the birthday weekend with them. I’m flying to Salt Lake City today while her dad takes my place with Ashtyn. How do I feel about leaving for three days? I’m happy to be able to have a birthday party for Ethan and be there when he receives the priesthood. I’m happy to have a family dinner party for Morgan and take her to get her drivers license. I’m sad to walk out of the hospital when Ashtyn can’t and leave her behind. I am deeply grateful that when I do go home for good, I won’t be going without my Ashtyn.
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