A Lot Of Emotions Along The Way

BMT Day 73: Our thoughts and feelings are different depending on the moment of the day. Sometimes I’m nervous when I notice something is “off”. We get frustrated and impatient with two steps forward, one step back. My heart seems to not have any reserve for set backs and am extra sensitive to any struggle she faces. We don’t want anything to be difficult anymore. I want this recovery to be smooth for her. We want continual progress with a guarantee that Ashtyn’s body will be safe to fly home mid-November before her 18th birthday. Other moments we’re calm and at peace with the situation and God’s timing. I notice the improvements. She’s unsteady on her feet still needing assistance and a walker, continually working hard with physical therapy. Her stomach cramps often and has diarrhea but she’s off IV nutrition and consumes all her calories with protein shakes, while trying solid food at least once a day. She still has adenovirus and needs a lot of IV potassium but her adenovirus level came down to 11,000 with a hope it can get to less than 5,000 so Cidofovir can be stopped. Her marrow has been so slow at producing cells. She still needs platelet transfusions almost daily and her absolute neutrophil count has hovered near 1000 to 1500 for weeks but today her ANC is 2300 with a hope it can rise above 2500 for two days so she can get off the marrow stimulant Neupogen. Emotionally Ashtyn has better moments than others. A lot of the time she finds peace and happiness in her environment. Other times she’s tearful. All of the time she misses home tremendously. Her heart aches with the thought that something will go wrong that will prevent her from going home in the next month. She wonders if the day will ever come where she’ll actually be in her own bed with her dog sleeping beside her. I do believe it will take a miracle to get her home before her November 25th birthday. I figure, why not put the icing on the cake of this miraculous journey and finalize it with one more cherry on top miracle. Please pray 1. she’ll be safe to go home by her birthday. 2. Specifically her struggling lungs, heart, bowels, and kidneys will heal properly allowing for full health. 3. Her new marrow will continue to produce new cancer free, wonderful functioning cells. 4. Her muscles will strengthen so she can stand and walk independently.