Mom's Will Do Anything

As you can imagine, it can be very scary, heart breaking, stressful, nerve wracking, and heavy being the primary advocate and caregiver for my daughter. There’s so much I don’t have control over but so much that I do. Ashtyn’s doctors are completely responsive to any idea, thought, feeling, observation, or suggestion I have. She probably has 100 medical specialists who contemplate, plan, and discuss her care. They are the most brilliant minded people in the world and have the most genuine love, concern, and care as if she is their own. It has taken a remarkable team effort with those in Salt Lake City and Seattle to get Ashtyn to where she is today. I’m grateful for how much influence and say I have, and feel honored to be part of the team. It’s not news to anyone how complex her health is and how quickly her status can change. It is not uncommon that something happens which causes an immediate high stress response in me. I’m always on guard and feel it’s my responsibility to keep her as safe and healthy as I can. Because of this, my eyes are ever watchful and my ears are peeled for any sound of trouble. My hands and nerves shake more than I’d like, but it’s totally worth it because mom’s will do anything for our kids. I have come to accept and embrace my life and the things I can’t control. What I don’t want to do is spend time and energy trying to control, change, fight against, or fear the course life takes. What I do want to do is invest all my time, energy, and passion into living the best I can with what I’m given. I want to work hard and kick butt in the present moment never wasting time wishing things were different or feeling like the Universe is being unfair. I want to own my life and conquer each day with the attitude, “Let’s do this!” Philippians: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Micah: “No matter how many times life may knock us down, we will always have the option to stay down and accept defeat or get up and say “Is that all you’ve got?!” We are enjoying each day for what it is and gearing up for whatever lies ahead. We will know Friday whether leukemia is back or if we can proceed with a bone marrow transplant.